laugh

2008-05-22T02:59:00.000-07:00

Whenever I’m sad,

I’ll go to the balcony

Curl up on my chair

And take off my glasses.

I’ll squint at the brightly-lit apartments

Their distorted silhouette strangely comforting me

A mash of white, yellow and the starless night sky

I’ll lose myself in that world

Nothing’s clear anymore

What defines now is different than before

2007-09-04T05:16:00.000-07:00

heyy....it's the sept hols!! =D

Haha...
anyway...recap to last friday's outing!!
Last friday was Teacher Days' Celebrations and ACES day. ACES workout was um full of punches...haha.

So anyway, I smsed Noelle whether we could meet up and watch a movie. Haha...I was super shocked when I heard Hui Ling's voice at first...
So I stayed back after school a bit to wait for Clara to finish up her work. Then at 1.30 we met up with Noelle, Hui ting and Candice. I missed them so much!! I was really enthusiastic when I saw them. hee=D
So we took a bus to Cathay, and booked tickets to watch Ratatouille! We ate lunch, I had a hard time chewing cos I just tightened my braces. Joyce came! =D

So we bought popcorn. I was broke because I spent most of my money on the tickets; I paid for everyone at first, so I had practically zero dollars. I yelled for Joyce to come save me while I kinda innocently looked and smiled at the cashier guy person. Joyce and Noey were looking at someone from Campus Superstar 2. I don't remember the names. Popcorn was definitely the top of my priority list. =D

Anyway, the movie was super awesome! I haven't gotten this hyped up over a movie ever since...um...I can't rmb. but that's not important. The most important thing is that the movie rocks! And I highly urge everyone to watch!
"But it's time to mug!"
I shall reply [with arched eyebrows] , "Go watch". And with one last glare, I shall walk off triumphantly with my head held high [note the alliteration], and a smirk, while the poor girl fumbles for her wallet to search for the 8 bucks or 9 bucks. HeeX)

After the movie we, unfortunately, went home...So sad. It was fun while it lasted. I had so much fun on Friday! I haven't smiled that much in a looooooooong time. It's quite sad really. I miss last year. But of course, one has to keep moving and not dwell on the past. [aiyah.. rubbish la]

Pics!! Stolen from Clara's blog =D

2007-08-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

I want to change my blogskin...
Haven't made one in ages...hmm...maybe during the sept hol...
I'm thinking black...what do ya think?
Sry..I think I'm thinking a bit abstract..hee...

Anw, NJ open day was quite ok for me. It just felt weird to be involved in 2007 open day, just a year after I came for NJ 2006 open day.

Guitar performance was not that bad actually, my friend said we were quite good. Heh.
After the performance, I didn't feel so well and went home.
I think this post is a bit boring.
heh..
So, on Sat I tried going for a trigo maths tuition with my bro's teacher for 1 1/2 hours. I was competing with her...haha..cos she said she mostly prepares the primary kids for PSLE, hence, forgot most of her trigo stuff...but anyway, she' real pro once she has her formulas with her...haha..I kinda enjoyed having to do maths sums with her, and time really flies. haha..anyway..I still think my trigo sucks big time. heh. After that I went to KAP to do phy with yuen! haha...joked around and laughed like mad. haha..and there was this couple behind us who was doing gross stuff...er...shan't elaborate...too much for my innocent mind to bear..
okay..So I basically spent this afternoon slacking and reading fictionpress. Sigh..the wonders of stories. I was reeled in by a story and I couldn't stop reading for 2-3 hrs? There, my afternoon totally wasted... So I think I'd better get to sleep.

In a rush
In a second
I saw you
I wanted to smile
But you just walked past
Not even a nod nor a glance
well, Let's just say
In that second,
the feelings' turned mutual.
I

2007-08-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

gah
I feel super irresponsible.
I actually left my book in school...
Wonder if my teacher is going to scold me...hope not..

And I'm feeling the heat now...
there's MI presentation tmr..and none of my groupmates are online=incessant gnawing at the back of mind as to whether tmr's presentation is going to be alright.
Then there's the projects that are piling up.

I feel so tired.
I've never felt this tired before, this mentally tired.
This dark feeling that burns a hole in your brain, numbs your mind, and leaves your mouth gaping, as if wanting to say something, but nothing comes out of it.
The suffocating feeling...
The good thing is (grins), I am not suicidal. haha...I'm scared of heights!

Anyway...
Lord,
Give me strength
So that I may be able to serve you better
Although I am weary Lord
But I know that you are always beside me,
Encouraging me.
Renew me again Lord!
I lovee youuu!! =D

2007-08-10T02:00:00.001-07:00

Sometimes
I feel the melody of the wind
And it will soothe me

Sometimes
I feel the warm glow of the sun
Mesmerizing me

Sometimes
I see the different colours of the leaves
Falling gently down
On me

But now
As the stars fade to nothing
As the dust traps the time
There is none but the dirt
And the words of the truth

The flesh is gone
The bones are left
Behind

No more laughter
No more cries
Only visions

Whispers of the dead
Unwinds
The tales of tragedies
The notes of melodies
Their footprints on sand
Washed away by the waves

Smiling
Crying
The art of showing how you care
Wishing
Loving
Time never fails

To your left
I see the sun
To your right
I see the moon
On your front
Your reflection
On you back
I see your shadow

Sometimes
I listen
To the wind
To the grass
Then I’ll remember those times we had
The gaiety and frailty
Tenderness

2007-08-09T02:00:00.000-07:00

I think I'm sick....haiz

Anyway, yesterday was NDC!!! It was great fun! When we started singing the national day songs, I was reminded of last year's NDC...I miss MG terribly and horribly and wadever-bly.
It will never be the same again. Yesterday's events will never come again. That's quite sad isn't it?

anyway, I absolutely adored Solaris' March-in!! It totally rocked! I was really awed by the awesome dance by the lovely dancers Sophia, Jade and Xinyan! You all looked drop-dead gorgeous!! haha...(pretty womEn walking down the street!)

After NDC i went to eat at Westmall with the guit junior ensem!! Haha...and I went scurrying off with Jennings looking for balloons. We went to shopnsave to try looking for them but all we could find was water bomb balloons. So we went to ask one of the staff. I was speaking to him in chinese, asking him whether balloons were sold in shopnsave. haha...then he kept on pointing to his nametag, I didn't understand and kept asking him, repeating my question over and over again in chinese. haha...then it was then that I realised that his name was Malay, which meant he was a Malay, WHICH MEANT he wasn't Chinese! haha..I stoned for a while before I understood and asked in English. HAha! I'm so retarded! haha
Anyway, we couldn't find any balloons but luckily Charlene managed to find some!!
Thanks Charlene!!

So after that, we went to Yuping's house's function room to prepare the games. Then, Jennings and I left for the MRT station to fetch the guitar seniors!! haha...We were worried whether we should stall for time in case the preparations are not done...haha...but some of the seniors were late, haha..so we kinda had to wait...but after a while, we got on the bus and left for Yuping's house again. haha...it was quite fun!

Then it was the games!! haha...the games that Jennings and I and the games commn thought so hard!! haha...anyway...the games were fun fun!! haha...the guit seniors kept on insisting Jennings was the mafia..haha...poor jennings!! haha...and there Tina's grp was the most forfeited group!! haha...they had to go oink oink all the way!! super funny! They got the oink forfeit 7 times in a row!! hahahaha...

After games was dinner, I didnt really eat much cos there wasn't enough fishballs. -.-
And to think me and Jennings were playing scissors-paper-stone over a piece of mushroom before I got up and searched for another piece in the steamboat -.-

We performed for the seniors!! we played 恋爱ing! haha..when it came to the bridge, everyone stopped cos we couldn't say the bridge! haha..it was super fast...but I had funn!!

haha..then I learnt to play Accidentally in Love! whoots~
But it was kinda late...okay...very late then my parents went to fetch me home...telling me nxt time i have to tell them...haha
yea..i need to be more responsible..Parents will be worried when their child is out so late...yeap..so I have to be more mature and don't take part in so many activities...haha..
ok...I'm kinda tired now...
so I shall slack a bit
I can imagine people mugging now.... sighh
I like my cool funky white-red specs!

2007-08-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

AHHH!!!

I'm gonna die from multiple causes.

Ahem

1. Brain Stroke (happens in cases when inadequate blood flow is present and the brain does not receive enough sugar, meaning 2 bars of chocolates.)
2. Heart Stroke (happens in cases when too much bingeing takes place...ahem..like potato chips...)
3. Muscle aches (happens when I attempt to exercise)
4. Excessive eye rolling (when retarded people come and agonize me)

There. Is there any cure for this?

2007-05-28T04:40:00.000-07:00

My mother once told me
That one has to live freely
If he doesn’t then he’s not alright

So I told my mother back
I will not live on facts
But rather live my life on the side

So even when things seem not okay
Even when the Sun is not shining today
I will still smile widely and grin and say
Let us blow out the grey away

So just like the sunflower
It smiles and grins and showers
So much warmth and care

I’ll then smile back a reply
And know I have no worries
Because I know I have today.

So even when things seem not okay
Even when the Sun is not shining today
I will still smile widely and grin and say
Let us blow out the grey away.

Keep charge I say
Hold firm I say
Just plaster a smile and your wounds will heal
So don’t let me catch you with a sad sad frown
Because then your life will start to spiral down

So even when things seem not okay
Even when the Sun is not shining today
I will still smile widely and grin and say
Let us blow out the grey away.

Oh, Let us blow, kiss the grey away..

Some lyrics I wrote..haven't added in the tune yet..haha...first time posting it up..I wrote it in like under 10 mins?

2007-05-28T04:00:00.000-07:00

I had fun yesterday!! Whoots~ ^^
The sad thing was, not everyone was present..boohoo...noelle wasn't there..at least and joyce and hui ting were there.. I kept pestering them to share some survival tips for my upcoming obs...*shakes involuntarily*

Anyway, the reunion was still good and thanks jer!! Thanks so much for organising this reunion and for preparing dinner! Dinner was really scrumptious...=D

Anyway..I read someone's blog and it got me feeling down again...sigh..I hope I'll get over this feeling yet again...it's a wonder I never felt that way last year...
The funny thing is, even though I am bottling this feeling up inside me, I feel safe and secure, knowing that no one else knows about this feeling except for me and God. So I feel better when I pour it out to Him. That's just me and my works I guess..

SMO tmr. I hope I can come out of it mentally unscathed. (grins)

2007-05-12T07:18:00.000-07:00

Why am i always bombarded with failures.
This sense of underachievement never fails to gnaw at me..incessantly
why is my concentration wavering so fragilely?
I really want to go to a deserted island with Hirai Ken's Elegy and just..just reflect...refleft on my life...reflect...

I really need an outlet to vent out my frustrations
So if ya guys dun wanna read my inner turmoil then its fine=)
I applied for NSC and i didnt get in..
I got lowest for literature analysis
My Man and Ideas assignment got practically zero
My MI group gets the lowest out of the whole class
What else is there huh? What other monster is lurking in that horrible darkness waiting for that right opportunity to spring up at me and show its ugly acid face?
I feel so angry with myself.
I know i have to get over this stage.
and i better start mugging like mad during the hols.since i have been far too lenient on my studies.
I shall not want to taste the bitterness of failure ever again

2007-04-06T08:28:00.000-07:00

Helloo=)

I promised to update..so here i am! *poofs*
haha..anyway..i got past the council interviews and tmr i'm gonna have to attend a how-to-make-a-video-for-extra-dumb-dummies video workshop (in my own twisted opinion). haha. i hope it's gna be fun though cos apparently, it's gonna be like from the morning at about 7.30am to 1.30.sigh..and after that we have to do the video thing...at least we're in groups! =) i like my group..cos we have two council mentors who are current councillors and they are both the only IT people in the whole council!! whooyee!! haha...but i just hope i can get past the coming hectic 2 weeks...cos house capt'n said those two weeks are gonna be the most horrible 2 weeks of your life..haha..hope she was joking abt that..but..
well, life goes on.
okk..i gotta go sleep now...
Today is Good Friday!! I love you God! I love you Jesus! One way, Jesus you're the only one that i could live for.

2007-03-27T01:41:00.000-07:00

It's tuesday...So i was dismissed at 1.10pm. haha...compared to yesterday's 7.30 pm...My new piano came yesterday! whoots...i love it very very much. Thanks papa! haha..so happy...so my disheartened mood immediately lifted up. hehe..

well, now i have to focus and do spire research and umm. finish amaths and do a bit of chaos...sad thing really.

Sorry for the short post...

2007-03-23T08:19:00.000-07:00

helloo=D

Dismissed at 11.40!! Thanks to last year's batch of J2s!! haha...we owe it to you man..you're the Man. haha.
I spent another one hr doing maths. Amrit joined in, and we got so frustrated. Haha..so we scribbled and scribbled like mad people until we finally got the answer. haha.. and then we trooped off to the horrible computer lab where the computers are almost shockingly obsolete. But, fortunately, the comps were still able to serve the task of giving us access to the net. Thank you. Just that, the comp lab is rather small.

so we discussed what to do for spire for another 2 hrs? i dno and then after no productive work, me and yuen left to go to MG!! haha...so we went and we had to have this stupid green sticker to show that we are visitors. I lost mine cos it was not sticky anymore and yuen tore her sticker in half so she could give one part of it to me =) Thanks yuen! haha.i surprised noey again.-___-
So we went offf to the canteen to have lunch! I took porridge. Sigh. But at least kind noey bought porridge too, so the burden is shared=)
haha...and then we saw some of the 2E peeps and then i went off with noey and joyce to kinokuniya in taka to buy bday presents for joyce and hui ting. haha...i didnt know noey and joyce were so obsessed with taiwanese drama books now..haha..
So after that, we bought cookies for hui ting!! yay!! Then it started raining so i took mrt to newton and bus-ed my way home..haha..and slacked.
Ooh and i saw Jo in MG too!! <3 you lots..heeeXD so there you go jo! I felt good knowing that i nice-ed up your day too!! Really gooood...just not that part when you said i did not become nerdy anymore due to the male influence in my class..i am still steffie. humph...haha...i miss bowling too!! sighh...although the CCA was more for socialising and studying for tests then actually learning the sport..hee

2007-03-22T02:24:00.000-07:00

Hello..=)
I'm back and blogging again..not badd eh?
haha..anyway..today was a short day..we were dismissed at 2.00pm. During bio, which took up the last 2 periods, we were supposed to do an experiment about enzymes involving lego bricks. Sigh...i joined amrit and yuen (2e!! haha..we are not anti-social lah..haha..just that we were sitting together..haha.) Oh my goodness...i'm listening to this chinese song on the radio and gosh! it's so sweet and tune is infectious! aiyah..i realised that this song is by sylvester sim..i'm even surprised i remembered his name...i couldn't recognise his voice..but anyway..my judgement hold. I just like the tune.

Anyway..back to bio..so we were playing with lego bricks..and we were supposed to time how many pairs of lego bricks we can detach within 5 sec. So anyway..i was like quick quick and amrit was commenting how motherly i was and i was like wth? haha.and yuen was like don't get steffie angry otherwise we won't get pocket money..0.o

So i defiantly retorted that i'm not their mom and then amrit said, 'Then why did you lie to me for the past 15 yrs?" or smthing along that line...ehh..i was dumbfounded. i just wanted life to be simple at that point of time. haha..then Mr Nah walked past and he asked, "Catfight ah?" i nearly crashed down..haha..Mr Nah always comes out with the weirdest comments...

after bio i went to sit in for german trial..just wanted to know whether german's fun or not. haha..'cos i signed up for a jap course. sigh..so i'm not sure whether i want to join...but amrit and jennings are interested...i nearly spelled jennings as hennings...omy..haha..
anyway. that's all..gotta do LA, MI and Spire..haha.

2007-03-21T05:49:00.000-07:00

Got back all my papers ...and my results...
On mon i got back my maths papers, both Emaths and Amaths. I like my Amaths marks better than my Emaths marks. heh. But at least i should be grateful that i managed to pass. =) We all will do better next time and prove our maths tutors wrong!! Kay, guys?? It seemed that every teacher that walked into our classroom commented that we look depressed. "Is it because of Maths?" A resounding and disconsolate reply---"yes." Heh.

After Maths results, we got back MI. yea..i want to maim MI mann...(alliteration). Anyhow, i expected my disastrous results. I guess being in IP means that you gotta get used to seeing Cs or Ds and even Fs instead of As or Bs. Heck, if you can get a B in anything, you should be proud of yourself.

After MI was Chinese. My chinese ain't good so i expected quite low but not that low. Sighh..maybe i should switch to mainstream chinese..we'll see. But at least i passed. haha.

That's all for Mon..and a troop of disgruntled peeps going back home..with me staying back for guitar..

On tues we got back Chem. When Ms Selva announced the highest for chem...my heart nearly gave away. anyway..it wasn't me..heh...but the thing was, she was announcing those who got 40 and above upon 50 and my name wasn't called..haha...i was like oh no...so when i got back my paper..i was kinda taken aback..haha..i got 35....well in the end..i realised they cut me short of 10 marks. 10 marks!!! Heart was pounding so furiously against my ribs! serious! I'm thankful that my marks are within expectations. =)

Then i went to the dentist after sch to put on my braces!! haha...i chose pink. I wonder why..
anyway..i think i practically slept through the whole time when the dentist and the nurse were attaching the braces...hehe..all i know was that i had to bite a mouthpiece or smthing...so that my tongue wouldn't interfere..heh..now my mouth is super sore!! Can't even bite! Sigh..it's soup and rice for a week.

On wed...we got back our IH results.. I was quite happy...and then for Bio my partner and I did quite ok for the paper just that we lost the A+ by 1.5 marks...dawn kept getting the highest.. smarty pants=) And zoe!! we have a male counterpart of you in my class.he keeps on getting the highest in everything...serious! In chinese, in chem, in bio, in humanities..practically everything...and he's good in Pe too. So, he's kinda well-rounded...haha..it would be nice if you two got to know one another..=)

So here i am..mouth's aching away..
bye

2007-03-13T04:47:00.000-07:00

Helloo=D

Haha...i'm trying my best to do CPR to this blog. Warning: No tongues involved. haha
Went out with my frens yesterday to suntec! haha.. Yuen and i were trying to find our way to suntec from marina square. haha...apparently, according to yuen's *ahem*self-proclaimed logic, we should walk around aimlessly and hey presto we would end up in wherever we wanted to be in before you can say "happy meal", the happy meal part being stef's nonsensical randomness. Pardon her=)

Walked around aimlessly too in suntec. and bumped into jennings. I didnt notice her at first, i was busy calling dawn...was i? hmm..i don't remember. Anyway, i lost my balance and nearly had the opportunity to have a once-in-a-lifetime experience in having a total make-out session with the shining gleaming floor. Not that i wanted to. Blame it on me being unstable. Not in the mind, yuen! I should be ashamed of myself. Can't help it.

So i called dawn. Yes, i distinctly remembered calling dawn and telling her we were near watsons and the cocoa trees and she appeared suddenly out of the huge masses of people streaming in and out of giordano. Sale?

So we first walked into carrefour, to buy fbts. Naive stef actually thought they were sold at $5 per pair. To put in bluntly, it's not. $10.90! i could have just died there, with my eyes still wide open and my skin gone white. I willed myself to calm myself down. Ah, the powers of talking to oneself. i am sane. I'm sure everyone else talks to themselves or rather, their conscienceness that lurks somewhere deep inside you. Let's not digress. To cut the long chase, i bought one pair.
Black is <3.
After that we went to eat i think...haha..went to pizza hut and to pizza hut: Good luck with spending all that huge wads of money you so deviously collected from innocent students like us. humph. And to think i had actually put u on my fav food outlets list. I decided i shall put you on the black list. (naughty list) heh. even the soup tasted weird. left it just as it was. decided it looked best like that than when it's in my stomach.
Went to marina sq again to spend yuen's $50 times voucher. wow. I took $20 of it, hehe cos i have a$20 times voucher but i didnt bring it. hehe..so im giving that voucher to yuen when sch starts again. Bought a new book!! whoots! Although it's expensive but it's worth it!! Michael Connelly's books are really good. I especially enjoyed every morsel of Chasing the Last Dime.
After that spent another 5 bucks on earrings. haha..i finally found my gingerbreadman!! yay!!
haha..then i realised, with my deadpan expression, that i had to do a PE grpwork thing, Physics Log and Chem report. sighh...

I'm hurt by what you thought. I had hope in you...thought you would willingly give us some minutes of your time to just let us speak. I won't despair though. I just want you to know that what you see is not what it is defined as. i'm sick and tired of being misunderstood. The feeling when one's actions are misinterpreted is just unbearable. I thought it would end when the new schoolyear started. I'm proven wrong yet again. I should conduct a self-examination.

2006-10-16T06:01:00.000-07:00

Heyy guyss!! haha..i haven't updated since a month ago..which is very very bad.haha..sorry.anyway..today..we got back our results for math paper 1, eng essays, chi, and life sci..oh and history (excluding the source-based questions..which i am not looking forward to..hehe) So..we got back our chinese testpapers back first.. First thing in the morning lehh...and only 7 of us had gotten an A...yupp. so congrats to them..and i must say..lao shi very tan bai..haha..anyway..after chi..it was history i think..yeah..im happy with my marks so far...hope source-based won't pull my marks down..haha..but Mr Seow said we wouldn't want to look at out marks for source-based..which is a bad bad omen..then we had recess and i bought multi-grain crackers and a cup of sprite..haha..and then we had to go to AVA and since we thought we were early..we started playing games outside the AVA room. haha..so noisy..but we had fun!! haha..im gna miss them mann...ahh..haha..btw..last sat i went to the NJC open house and it was amusing. yes. amusing. haha..anyway..back to the point. so we entered the AVA room as noisy as can be and got ticked off. haha. hmm..went through the answers for paper 2..we didn't get back our paper 2 results..): haha..then we got back our letter-writing and essay..i did Passion..haha..don't think wrong lahh..haha..everyone thought Esther did Passion.haha..anyway..i was quite happy with the marks..cos that was the highest i got for compo..u noe why?? cos we haven't done an essay in such a long time that i have forgotten my past marks for essay-writing for the last few months..heh. and my letter-writing...ok i shld think? i'm just worried for paper 2 cos i didn't have the ideal answers for most of the questions and that is scaring me.. serious. scary. ok..after eng we had maths..and it was horrible. i was so shocked at my marks..u may say that im complaining or wad...but if viewed from my perspective..u shld noe why i am that shocked. cos i had high expectations. paper 2 is totally the death of me. after maths came life sci. i was real anxious cos everyone's anxious. Chain reaction see? haha..geog.-.- anyway..got back our life sci papers..nothing to say..
tmr..tmr..i loathe u tmr..may u never come to life. *sung to the tune of "Tomorrow"
p.s it is a part of the chorus.

2006-09-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

Hey all!!

I had my chinese oral today...the teacher, or rather the examiner, was incredibly sweet and nice! =) She didn't glare at me or make me feel inferior..though i was stuttering my way through the passage and was at a loss of words during the conversation..hehe..but all the same..im glad i had an examiner as nice as her..seriously..she's just so...nice. haha..anyway..went back to art room to touch up on my art piece and then went back home..haha..been doing my home econ and geog notes..but still very incomplete...sigh..better go do it...and quick...before my lovely samsoon comes!! bye.

2006-09-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

hello!!
Well..i can't believe that i'll have to go back to school tomorrow...sigh
one week actually flew that fast?!
haha..
anyway..im paranoid..i don't know whether i've finished all my homework and stuff.
haha..and i can't be too sure if there's a chinese book test tomorrow..although i do recall that lao shi said the test was the following week after school reopens..hmm..
This one goes to everyone: Heyy guys!! One week has passed which means 3 weeks to exams!!
Study hard but don't overexert yourself too much alright? It always helps to sit back and relax..and think of me!! hahah..sigh..to think of it..i haven't done much studying..that is i only did a bit of geog...what i studied seems to have evaporated into thin air...and not to mention there's eng and chi oral..
haha..i wonder who my chi examiners are...hmm..and there's lit test too..sigh..i dno what to do abt lit..
gd luck everyone..and i wonder why i cant seem to tear myself away from the comp?

2006-08-21T02:09:00.000-07:00

Hey all!!
haha
i changed my blog addie!!
haha
anyway..do u like my new blogskin?
I made it myself!! *grins*
haha
anyway..i still suck at photoshop
hope i can be a pro at it one day!!
haha
wishing. and hoping. and um..wishing again.
I still have to coach my bro..sigh:(
jia you!!